Your Next Renaissance: FREE Mini Workshop to Launch A New You (After Baby)
You are here!
This is BIG for all of us.
This one step will be the longest of all, but I promise SO important.
This will be a powerful exercise to map out your next BIG thing, your next professional shift (before or after baby), or which environment or region of the world you need to be in next, or how you want to set a meaningful foundation for growing your family from here on out (because life with partner before and after baby might be REALLY different for you too).
For me, all three of these things came into play at once.
To dive right in I shared MY STORY here to help illustrate the value of today’s assignment.
Before you know what your best next direction/decision should be, it is a powerful aid to figure out what exact values, needs and desires that decision is going to help you fulfill.
Knowing what your desires are (and following them) is a direct path to figuring out your PURPOSE or what has meaning for you. Your Raison d’etre (reason for existing). Sometimes the word “purpose” is super abstract and difficult to pinpoint, but this is where we are going today.
Not to worry, this step is slightly longer, yet very effective.
Another way to think about it is what do you offer the world? Or what do you offer the people and things in your immediate environment?
A friend of mine recently said that “every plant has something that is a perfect medicine for something else, but for some things that plant seems useless.” We can say that the purpose of this plant is to grow so that it can heal something very specific.
Ok, let’s bring this back to us.
I can tell you how these questions came into play for me.
If you know my story you know that there was a VERY windy road to figuring out what I wanted to be doing. The births of my son and daughter grounded me in a certain awareness of something I was driven to explore. However, all around me were shooting stars. Friends whose career trajectories were taking them to great heights. I couldn’t see the trees for the forest. This may be similar to yours. But our needs and desires are always there for us as a compass.
An older actor friend of mine recently said “You are not asked at the end of your life how good you are at being Gandhi, Olafur Eliasson, Virginia Wollf, Beyoncé, or Coco Chanel. You are asked how good you are at being YOU!”
(Well, I threw in the Beyoncé)!
So now we’re going back to YOU.
You will have fabulous friends around you who are doing their thing. They will look the look of having it all. But we all have our own unique thing. Our own way. Style. Lean on things.
That medicine that is built in you.
And the path to it?
Meeting your needs. Intentionally following your desires.
Whatever you really want is there for a reason.
Stinging Nettle is considered a weed, but it desires to grow. And we all know that nettle tea is a healer.
I know. I love the plant metaphor!
Even if your MIND is judging your desires and needs. “That’s not possible for me.” “I love it, but could never be good at that!” “That’s too inaccessible”. “That’s too simple.” “I’m not young, old, smart, rich, adventurous, daring, creative [fill in the blank] enough to do THAT!”
[As long as your needs and desires are not meant to harm others… ALL GOOD. This is your way.]
FINDING YOUR OWN MEDICINE:
Now here is your ACTION for today:
(Remember: This one exercise is going to set you up for the next few days. Everything else is going to be much smoother if you spend time to apply your creativity to this step.]
Take a big piece of paper. Create your Pinterest board (my favorite!). Get out your recording device. Whatever floats your boat. You can’t do this wrong.
- SKETCH YOUR STORY & ATTRACTIONS
Think about your own story. I know mine has all these details, but so does yours. Likely more and likely very different.
Think mind map. Take one or two words to describe different parts of your life’s story. At the end you will see many words that will be a place to remind you of your different chapters and episodes.
Look specifically for stories that called up strong desires and needs for you. Look for defining moments. Even if they seem subtle to others. These moments will probably come up around something that you are really good at. Or something you have strong opinions about. Or something that gives you goose bumps. Or something everybody seems to ask you about. Or even something you never made public. Something that changed you. Something that people don’t talk enough about. Something that we all need to know more about. Your secret knowledge. Your untold experience.
Look closely at that.
Are there any recurring themes? Things that you’re always called to do? Things you’re fascinated by? Things you do without thinking? That special talent that you’re genius at? Don’t judge it. Just write it out.
Find an image on Pinterest for each part of your story. And make sure to add your words to the description.
- REFLECT ON YOUR NEEDS
Is there a big thing you know (or sense) is coming up for you?
What are you considering doing next? What are others calling on you to do?
Is it a new career?
Are you trying to figure out an ideal work situation that allows you to feel fulfilled professionally AND enjoy the early years with your child and partner?
Are you ready to expand your horizons and spend time in a foreign (to you) place? Or just ready to have a new adventure after becoming a mother?
Is there an event you want to organize?
Are you wanting to establish a new meaningful foundation with your partner and children?
What ever that thing is that you’re questioning, that’s what you want to start with first.
If there are a few.
Take one thing at a time.
Do any of these relate to your recurring themes?
- NAME YOUR DIRECTION
Read through the needs and feelings inventory. Find the words that describe the exact needs and feelings you KNOW you need to be met in order to feel satisfied.
Take Your Pinterest board. A big piece of paper. Your recording device. Whatever floats your boat.
State your needs. Your desires.
Find an image for each need. Each desire. In the description, write out the word. You can also state anything you want that reminds you why this need and desire is so important for you.
- YOUR OWN MANTRA
Now look at what you are considering doing next?
This is going to be your next renaissance. Where your desire is leading you. Your next big chapter.
Think of an image for this new stage your life. Take a few minutes and answer the question in writing: How do I want this to feel? In this new adventure, how do you want to experience yourself and others?
Now, take a break. Think of that image again. Answer the question: How do I NOT want to feel? Reference the inventory if you need to. What don’t I want me or others to experience in this new phase of my life?
Go back through the second image and highlight a few key words that really capture what you DO and DO NOT want to feel or experience.
Now from those things you’ve highlighted, write out in a third image: What worries, doubts, or fears do these highlighted words or images bring up for you?
Now finally, create an image and ask yourself: Why are these fears unfounded? What do I have to remember that will tell me that I GOT THIS!
What is YOUR mantra?
A Fear: “I don’t have enough time or talent to reach that level?”
A Mantra: “When I show up every day, so do my muses. I do one thing at a time. This gets me closer to making my next big thing happen.”
A Fear: “This thing is out of my control.” Or you know you want to inspire others. Or give birth to a new child.
A Mantra: [Your desire as a statement] “I am one, may I become many.”
A Fear: I am unclear or skeptical of my gift.
A Mantra: I am always a learner, I am always a teacher. What I know is expert knowledge for those who have never been along this path.
Now make this one short sentence. Or a few words. You are naming YOUR medicine.
If you know the film Citizen Kane, the reference to “Rosebud” is supposed to hold lots of meaning for the life of the main character. That single word is always a reminder of a significant moment in his childhood that holds some important wisdom for him.
This image. These words are what you are going to call on to remember your medicine. If/When you start to doubt your direction.
Save this statement, these words, in a special place.
You’ll be referring back to this as you map out your next big shift.
Did anything new come up for you? If you would like to share, I would love to hear your thoughts. Head over to the dedicated Birth to Birth | Your Next Facebook group to share any thoughts. There will also be more resources that I only share there, so keep an eye out.
Are there friends in your circle seeking their own renaissance after children? Do you know birth or body workers who want to expand their voice, find new ways to serve women as they become mothers?
They are more than welcomed to take part.
Share these on Instagram, re-pin on Pinterest, Facebook, and #becomingmothers, #birthtobirth #newmomnextstep
Tweet this: Looking for your next step after baby? Map it out your next renaissance. http://birthtobirth.com/?p=998
In tomorrow’s step Your Big Vision (#2 of 4) you will figure out what this next step is going to look like for YOU. Hint: Your imagination is going to spark some new inspirations.